While this may sound and feel very discouraging, hope is not lost for these children. You can hold him and rock him to help meet his need at that three-year-old level. Your ten-year-old may exhibit behaviors of a three-year-old, so emotionally you would meet him where he needs it. His emotional state may not be that of a ten-year-old, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give him educational opportunities. Your child may be smart and able to do high level algebra at age ten, so meet him where he is academically. You may have behaviors that range from infantile to age appropriate.Įven though there are gaps between your child’s emotional, mental, physical, and chronological age, you can still meet them where they are in each area. If a child is six years old, you can’t expect their emotional state to be equal to their age. What is often perceived as a conscious choice to act out may be the result of an under-development in the brain that causes an inability to cope with frustration or change.īecause of trauma, or other factors, your child’s age will not determine their abilities in any area. The size of their brain doesn’t mean the child can’t grow, learn, and excel. It doesn’t mean your child can’t hear you, understand how you feel, or that they aren’t aware of the world around them.Ĭhildren who have experienced trauma display behavioral issues because their brains have not developed fully to the point of other children their age. Bruce Perry and his studies show how significantly smaller the size of the traumatized child’s brain is versus the child who wasn’t traumatized. Understanding that there is often a difference between a child’s chronological and developmental age will help caregivers to have more realistic expectations for the child.ĭr. Their developmental age is the age at which they function emotionally, physically, cognitively, and socially.Ī child may be five years old, but developmentally they may display behaviors that make them seem much younger. It is common for children who have been through traumatic experiences or stressors to display a developmental age different from their chronological age.Ī child’s chronological age is their age based on their date of birth.
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